I will write 3 original jokes

I will write 3 original and appropriate jokes for your party or presentation. Each joke will be written on the spot and not from a file of hundreds of old jokes I happen to have laying around. Couple of examples: "I want to meet my girlfriend tonight but can't decide to hide in the bushes or follow her in my car." or: My girlfriend gave me a bottle of cologne for my birthday called, "Essence of Pepperspray."